There’s a way out

 The feelings of others judging you is actually you judging yourself.

Stop being so self centred. It’s not always about you . Move out of your cage and see the world , you will know a lot more about people and yourself too. Being vulnerable is totally fine but it can help only when you try to help yourself. Know about people around you , involve yourself, till when you gonna be running away from your surroundings and stay caged . You know why you do this because you want to protect yourself and you have been doing this since childhood but you have to understand that you are out of that phase now , don’t make people or your relationship suffer because of your past / childhood situations. 

I know you did not have anyone around you , you grew up when there was no one to acknowledge your emotional turmoil and weight , that’s the reason you have made yourself self centred and became the only person to take care of your emotional well being. 

BUt now ? Look around , there are actually people who want to be here for you and they want to give you love . 

You cannot deny their love , deep down i know , you don’t know how to act or look around. You are soo into yourself because somethings have made you this way , your childhood situations made you this way . Papa was right, children from joint families are privileged because if not parents then there are people to acknowledge your pain and listen to your frustration. Only because there was no one around, becoming a self centred person was the only way . 

Can someone ever understand this ? 

Why do you even want someone else to understand this , they can definitely help you ig but you have to work hard to break free from this and break the mirror. 

This is your first step, try to open this cage , little Disha . You can do it . You will one day see a bigger part of the life . I trust you . You can do it .